I was considering writing a book about the British State in September 2014 before the Shell Tribunal matter was to surface again in a crescendo of legal activities and constructed the following preface to such a book in my Blog that would have the title ‘Unravelling the British’ and which I hoped would lead to a Publisher contacting me to agree to fund the whole book:
Did I arrive at the closure of my truthseeking? – or was it just wishful thinking on my part to conclude that one arrives at the truth when everyone stops discussing issues with you in a fruitful manner and you yourself see no point in engaging in further discussions with anyone? I wrote this self questioning statement as the opening words to the Preface of this book on 8 September 2014, a day on which I found myself in total seclusion, including from God, as having exhausted all my opinion-sharing truth seeking activities on the internet, following a period of study that had lasted about 6 years, and on completion of all my clock-checking activities comprising the direct consultations with God that I narrated in a diary that I maintained from 20 July 2012 until this day to describe the precise details of the reasons for my daily actions. Following recovery from a period of depression stemming from having been compulsorily hospitalised and treated for mental illness by the British State (that was totally unnecessary in my opinion), I started a course of external studies at various internet forums initially to delve into the nature of reality to try and find my sanctuary from the evil that I faced living normally in the United Kingdom; and after finding myself banned from several of important internet forums (the main ones being Freethought and Rationalism Discussion Board, Secular Cafe and Rational Skepticism) that could also not comprehend and cope with my truth seeking activities, I pursued it at the blogsite that I set up of Shantanu Panigrahi’s Blog: Towards Knowledge for World Conservation, a WordPress.com-facilitated project venture of mine between January 2009 and 1 September 2014 that I used with my Twitter account @ShanPanigrahi to complement my studies. I got blocked by numerous people on Twitter too, which on reflection was an indication that I was making satisfactory progress for just like the internet forums twitterers have their own agendas, comfort zones and missions that got disrupted by my probing tweets into their mindset and activities. My internal studies were entitled ‘truth and God search’ and represented my interactions with a personal God that I perceived existed and which I felt strongly was monitoring me. The diary was recorded by me as a way of enforcing my honesty to myself, my honesty to God, and my honesty to mankind which could someday read its contents, for I considered that the importance of the work that I had undertaken required this data to be at the disposal of humanity to study and judge the validity of as a truth-searching quest for the attainment of reality, the yoga of knowledge emanating from an abhorrence of delusions, falsehoods and misrepresentations of any kind in my psyche. This was a long and arduous process and reflected the fact that it was utterly difficult to find God, and further, to know his mind, history showing that He does not come to humans easily so people have just imagined what He may be like. I had succeeded where others have failed in having had an interaction with Him. It was therefore necessary for me to write down precisely what I did and to make my writings complete and to reflect total honesty on what I had achieved on such an important topic for mankind. God had asked me to leave Him on several occasions in the past but I was not ready for it, such was the complexity of my material and legal involvements. On this day He made it clear that I still needed Him, such was the evil that I faced when dealing with the State authorities; however, by the end of the day He had acceded to my judgement that this new course would be right for me.
The process of trying to get to the truth started for me in 1997 whilst I was struggling to survive in my job as an Animal Scientist working at the Natural Resources Institute of the University of Greenwich, unsuccessfully as it turned out a year later. Since then it remained a deep and undying compulsion in me to try and find out what had happened to me at that time and why it had happened, for which I undertook thorough investigations, not only of the English judicial system, but also of my mental state for which the entirety of the universe had to be explored as being relevant to consider to see if I had the mental capacity to comprehend reality. A day had now come when both the external and internal truth search had exhausted themselves in that these had arrived at their natural conclusions that had satisfied my mind in every respect, the completion of this Preface to my next autobiographical writing project reflecting my transition into the position of what I saw as being truth-bestowed liberation. Writing was always an expression of reality for me for I considered that reality could not have been experienced until one was able to write down ones thoughts to ones total satisfaction such that the truth expressed in the words that one used did not leave any questions unanswered nor room for subsequent alterations to better the write-up in expressing the reality that one knew in the recesses of one’s mind. Truth had to be pursued in this manner until there was total clarity in what one wrote. I had often wondered particularly during the final year of my truth-seeking whether my quest would ever reach a situation when there was a sustained clarity of knowledge and understanding but never once seriously anticipated that such a day would eventually come and reflect itself in my choosing to lose total contact with the outside world as well as with God internally to begin a process of living free from these practices and involvements in seclusion. There was nothing more to know, not even about God or from God. The mission had been accomplished. Through it I had survived with my dignity intact in front of God and in the material world because truth had prevailed and I was free.
For the last four of these years of truth-seeking I had described myself as being a satya-advaitist, meaning a truth accommodationist by philosophy and religion: one could not be a truth-seeker if one did not simultaneously accommodate oneself within the truth that one found for this is the only path to the one and single reality. I was indeed such a human being having been forced into this quest in an attempt to examine and ascertain the truth of my early visions and basis for my utterances, both spoken and written, that seemed to me to be coming from a power source in another invisible world which had had taken over the reigns of my mind and body. This I felt had manifested itself in being led relentlessly by God through my experiences of life in the United Kingdom for all of those 17 years. He had directed my path of living such that I had no option other than becoming a seeker of the fate that lay in store for me. It set my path of the pursuit of truth towards reality.
I was a theist at the very beginning that came from my Hindu upbringing but my two spells in mental hospitals under sectioning by the British National Health Service had destroyed this faith because I could not understand how and why a God who was supposedly looking after me would let my scientific career go down the drain, land me in hospital supposedly suffering from mental illness, and see me rendered to near poverty dependant on my wife’s meagre income supplemented with the paltry Disability Living Allowance of the British State. Although I could not rationalise the validity of my belief in God I was still inclined to search for sanity of mind which I realised could only come from knowledge acquisition for I was deeply aware that I had responsibilities as a family man that needed to be accomplished for which I needed to be in control of my mental and physical faculties. For the purposes of self-examination (swadhyaya) which is crucial to the yoga of knowledge (gyan yoga) that I was practising this search had brought me now into a phase of describing myself as a satya-advaitic atheist; and when the unforeseen irreversible realisation of God finally dawned on me I called myself a satya-advaitic theist who still had a lot more to learn about the kind of religion that was right in terms of what God prescribed for humanity. In calling myself a satya-advaitist I had to think of the name myself to describe what I was doing in my day-to-day life for I knew of no other person who was practicing what I did and had never even read or heard a reference to anyone who had done so in human history.
That chapter of a truth-seeking life had on this day come to an end in that God was no longer directing my path. I was not doing clock-checking any more to look for messages from Him. The reason for this, I concluded, was that He must have accomplished all his objectives that formed part of His plan for me. I had now come to terms with the reality that God had used me for his own mission for mankind. My Blog at WordPress was the clue to what that mission might have been. I considered myself to have been an avatar under God’s direction to undertake a mission of truth-seeking and the exposing of reality for the good of mankind. My relationship with God had been torturous over a very long period but it had ended pleasantly when I saw that all loose ends had been nicely tied up and there was nothing outstanding on my plate that bothered me once this Preface had been finalised and I knew that my future direction would now be entirely self-steered. This was the phase I was now entering and it was supposed to lead to the end -point of the total restoration of my reputation and credibility in the material world that I had envisaged would come one day from the early visions that I had received from God of my future, even though the means and experiences through which I would traverse in reaching that endpoint was never at any point known to me thus necessitating the truth-seeking activities that I had engaged in. I had therefore not reached the end-point yet, but the rest of the journey would be taking place in seclusion and therefore in the absence of the intense truth-seeking dialogues, interactions and engagements with the outside world as well as with the inner one that I had hitherto lived through. A new dawn had begun this day that required fresh new thinking about how I would conduct myself to hopefully attain that end-point yet to come. For this new phase that had begun I considered myself to be in need of a brand new identity to reflect the fact that I had nothing further left to search with or without an association with God. Accordingly, I terminated all new insertions into my Blog and Twitter accounts and started the process of living in seclusion as a simple Hindu trying to live out his life as dharmically as possible from what I had learnt about dharma through my previous truth-searches.
As I considered my future at this juncture it occurred to me since I was still alive I must do something interesting to occupy my mind that would also productive in terms of income generating potential, in restoring my reputation, and in being of benefit to humanity. I was still engaged in a battle with the authorities of the United Kingdom to secure my former employment rights and other legal pursuits which had to continue in order that I lived to improve my situation financially and intellectually. I was not concerned about my ability to see myself through the forthcoming challenges because God had seen me into a position of relative strength in these involvements, fortified me with knowledge, secured me in a steady state in material affairs, and provided me with calmness of mind. I turned my attention at channelling my writing abilities into a new project now and so considered the options for the best idea for a book that I could think of as my next major activity to pass my spare time on. I reflected on the fact that the only person to have seriously questioned my Blog writings was Egregious_C, a person of the USA, who expended intense efforts at casting aspersions on my reputation at my blogsite. Egregeious_C questioned me on my maligned reputation relating to my expressions on rape and misogyny from his research at internet forums, and also considered that my blog-writings were displaying the symptom of pathological narcissism: he was unable to see the value of my blogging as a truth-seeking and truth exposing activity. He had however also stated that instead of wasting my time blogging and by this means and venting my anger at the way I had been treated by the British State I should instead consider devoting myself to writing a book of fiction. He thought that I was well capable of attaining such a feat because I was apparently a very good writer and had interesting religious and factual conceptions that could be converted into such a work and which would find a good market of readership. Egregious_C further indicated that this could result in such a great piece of work that it could make me very well known and even lead to my receiving a knighthood from Her Majesty the Queen in the United Kingdom, which would be ironical for someone whom this State had earlier thrown into the scrapheap of life as a petrol station worker and worse, an unemployed husband living on his wife’s earnings.
My response to Egregious_C’s suggestion was that I could not stray away from writing on reality regardless of the fortunes that could lay in store for me by pursing the course of action of writing fiction now. Instead I argued that I should continue with writing on the realities that I had discovered and should look for a publisher to fund this work because my experience had shown to me that the truth I had come across within myself and of how the people of the United Kingdom lived was stranger to me than any work of fiction. Nothing I could imagine would compare to the abysmal behaviour of the Britons that I had come in contact with from my direct experiences of the state of the United Kingdom as a society, and which I had encountered by living in it for a considerable period of time as an ardent and observant scholar. I was proposing to write an autobiographical account of my exploration of the British State and its people. Writing about my experiences could only do good in bringing about changes to how this society was organised and also show the world why it would be detrimental to take any guidance from the culture prevailing in the United Kingdom for it was a failed society lacking the appropriate framework for emancipation of its people in a State that functioned haphazardly and was in the process of tearing itself apart as a civilised nation. It was in dire need of reforms that would enable people to act on the basis of knowledge and conscience to do the right thing on social justice individually. The people of this country were effectively owned by the State to live according to the needs of the State under draconian laws to curb their freedoms to think and act as human beings who know right from wrong. United Kingdom was therefore an irreligious society in which the people served a police state as morons. This was a shocking revelation for me with a Hindu upbringing in India that had led me to consider the moral basis for ones thoughts and actions as being of paramount importance so that society should be organised to facilitate this capacity and moral fibre in its citizens.
It is true to say that in my youth I had come to the view that no country could come closer to being a paradise on Earth than the United Kingdom, with everything being so perfectly arranged and maintained. But reality was to hit me in my adulthood as those appearances proved to be totally misleading. All that glittered was not gold. What I found was that this society was masquerading with a facade of civility that covered up people’s dreadfully deceitful dealings with each other but in the politest way possible while people unthinkingly implemented a cruel State that infringed heavily on civil liberties and denied people natural justice. Further, I had realised that the indigenous British were manifestly xenophobic, a hatred that made them reluctant to accept and respect foreigners as equals both in their abilities, which was perceived to be sub-human, and in the dispensation of fair treatment to them when faced with having to resolve their legitimate concerns: as such foreigners were largely fit only for the menial tasks of society, and not for being top grade scientists and other such professionals. Only after the completion of these personal studies did I now find it necessary to embark on this writing project of narrating this knowledge and experience through a book, which I would base entirely on factual evidence relating to the real people with whom I had interacted during my forties and fifties as an immigrant grappling to survive with the nuances of racism inherent in the British psyche.
My compulsion for truth-seeking and truth accommodation had generated evidence of an evil that I had personally faced in British society but for a long time it was not clear to me whether that evil was perpetrated by a secret society holding great power and influence over the institutions of the State or whether it was an attribute within the DNA of the vast majority of Britons: it turned out to be both of these. The State was run by a hidden clique of people in key appointed positions that constitutes the Establishment which directs the functionality of the State in a conspiracy among themselves. They may call themselves Freemasons or may not have a name in the modern era but they do operate behind the scenes and guide the State’s activities along certain pre-set lines rather than freely allowing natural justice to take its course. Racism however permeates the entire State at all levels. My engagements during my mature adulthood was indicative of institutional racism that came from within the heart of ordinary people as well as the well-to-do in society and in which there is a camaraderie of ill-will. This was protected and covered up by the Establishment at every turn. The racism is born of the fact that the people of this island have for long lived with a superiority complex over the rest of the world that emanated from the country’s colonial past as Great Britain.
I define institutional racism as the covering up by an organisation of the racism of the individuals that form part of that organisation. My involvements with British institutions on issues that have affected me as a citizen provided me with an insight into the type of people who form the population of this country and the society and State that they served under the banner of ‘united we stand and divided we fall’. I described this to be tantamount to being part of a nation of morons who all do their jobs in what is known as a jobsworth for a State that was institutionally racist. A jobsworth is a person who says ‘it is more than my job is worth to do anything different to the official line when dealing with issues’ thus not allowing conscience to play a role on determining what is right or wrong and fair or unfair. The effect is to protect each other and cover up unfairness such as the manifestation of racism with a herd instinct to protect the organisation’s reputation. The United Kingdom does not have a written Constitution. It is cobbled together with institutions and structures that overlap each other with official procedures that also overlap different bodies in the administration of justice and the maintenance of law and order. The book examines these facets of the State. The data that has unravelled the British State for me has hitherto remained hidden from public perception. I describe contemporary history in which detailed letter exchanges and verbal discourses provide evidence from human interactions which will have the potential of not only being an interesting read of my truth-seeking activities but also generate food for thought for the scholar. I have probed individuals at the heart of government to arrive at my conclusions.
I elaborate on this theme of institutional racism drawing on evidence that accumulated from three of my major involvements. I had run into issues that compelled me to investigate the British State through these projects, namely Greenwich Legalities, Internet Complaint and UKIP Proceedings. The evidence from these show how the British live to their State and how the State functions to keep its troops as morons without allowing conscience to direct their activities so that they stay within the desired State fold. This is the notion of establishment that I explore. This book is also a modern day exposure of British deceit that Britons have no qualms over, which was something that I just could not come to terms with as a dharmic Hindu devoted to truth and justice.
God had intervened to help me to expose this deceit in the British establishment as a revelation to show me and through me the world how a whole nation can live according to lies, deceit and persecution of the innocent and the unwary. He had egged me along to probe the British State in an intense manner in order to generate the evidence that now forms the basis of my writings concerning the British and the British State. So in this book I start by giving an account of how I came to know God and why and how He assisted me with my struggle for truth and justice.
10 September 2014 Update: The past two days of total silence from important State authorities and still no contacts from any potential publishers in the UK for my book made me wonder if I do need God by my side to guide my moves in life, such is the nature of the evil that I have faced. I am a sattvic person according to my guna consciousness and have been aware that such people are not very clever, certainly not as clever as the evil that is the Shiva manifestation of tamasic guna consciousness because sattvic people are immersed in purity and truth. I am however reluctant to take refuge in God again even though I know of His far greater intelligence and knowledge. I need to be free and live like a simple Hindu happy with the truth that I have learnt. There is no need for any more truths to be revealed to me by God or explored by me like a satya-advaitist.
4 October 2014 Update: I got busy trying to earn my living again after a break of 9 months in unemployment so stopped all clock checking for messages. However, a situation developed in an employment matter that got so complicated from 29 September 2014 onwards that I started looking for messages from God again on the course of action that I should pursue. I received guidance too from God in response, but now He is reminding yet again that I had made a mistake in my yoga in resuming my clock-checking for guidance. There is no other interpretation to what I have experienced. So I am once again going on alone hoping that I would not make the mistake of looking for advice from God again. I will resume my life as a simple Hindu living in seclusion to the extent of minding my own dharmic activities. The past three weeks have also proven to me that I am not in need of any conversations with anyone else for I have no aims left in life apart from fulfilling my dharma that should culminate in the book that I am aiming to produce as an important objective of my life.
10 October 2014 Update: Clock checking surfaced again when legal complications arose. Because the practice had paid dividends it became a die-hard habit. But now only if problems that I could not fathom out arose would I look for God’s guidance. On reflection He has been my saviour who erased my worries, wiped out my delusions, and secured my future perfectly to enable me to live with dignity in an oppressive world.
22 February 2015 Update: Little did I know when I wrote this blogpost of the evidence God was going to provide me with to address the questions that were haunting me about the British State last autumn. As the subsequent blogposts show with regard to the Shell Tribunal matter and the TO615415 proceedings with the Cabinet Office I am on a mission to address the fundamentals of the British State so that changes may be effected by the government in the functioning of the State.
September 8, 2014 - Posted by shantanup | Uncategorized
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