I was a simple Hindu boy of fifteen who came to the United Kingdom from India with his family when his botanist father was appointed under diplomatic service as the Indian Liaison Officer at Kew Gardens between 1973 and 1976. I found life fascinating and wished to explore it from my early years in independence. Although I had a religious Hindu upbringing I had never been subjected to doctrinal religious beliefs and practices and therefore had an open mind which was seemingly just perfect for a career in science that I had embarked on with the encouragement of my father. I thought Britain was a wonderful place that offered tremendous sporting, social, educational, earning and career opportunities in science which I took advantage of from the very beginning of my experience of life in this country. I had to try and find out about nearly everything from first-hand experience. Life was very pleasant to me in my youth, and even greater things were in store for me when I returned to India to marry a girl who was acceptable to my parents to fulfil my obligations under our traditional arranged marriage system in which we consider the feelings of our parents in choosing our life partners. I brought my wife to live with me in the United Kingdom in a nice house that I had already purchased with all the modern conveniences and good local facilities and it so happened that she found herself a secure job in the Civil Service just like I had done in 1979. We were financially relatively stable if not well off.
My educational attainments improved as time went by and I secured a BSc in Pharmacology (from London University) in 1978, a PhD in Poultry Nutrition (from Reading University) in 1988, and a Post Graduate Diploma with Distinction (from London University) in 1996, these formal studies having taken me through to my fortieth year of life, with the latter two degrees complementing my simultaneous laboratory-based research activities at the Natural Resources Institute that had led to numerous scientific publications in international journals. Enforced by a tragic loss of my employment at the University of Greenwich which had taken over the institute in 1996 I spent another 17 years conducting free lance studies from home through letters sent to State institutions and latterly over the internet, sitting in front of the computer, from correspondence with people through postings in fora, in my blogsite and on Twitter, all of which went to guide my learning of what reality was composed of. Simultaneously, I conducted extensive internal studies to find out if a God truly existed by urging Him to demonstrate Himself to me as being a real Entity rather than just the imagined one that much of humanity now believed to be the case and to determine what if any prescription He had for how we humans should live our lives. As I reflect over what I have learnt, I also ask myself if I had been a pawn in God’s hands to fulfil a mission of discovery for the generation of knowledge for the convenience and use of future generations.
We humans utilise, react to, and modify our environment to meet our individual needs. I have lived in the United Kingdom for most of my life examining this society and finding my place within it. The United Kingdom does not have a written Constitution. So how did it function as a State? What were its justice and law and order system like? Who were in charge of running this State? To what motivation did people live? There were no straightforward answers. It required studies. Was it a plan of God to educate me by uncovering the state of law and order of life in Britain through a journey of exploration in which He would continually be prompting me and egging me on? This allurement and exploration came at a terrible cost to my material well being because I was not only diagnosed to be suffering from the mental illness of persistent delusional disorder, I could not even retain a job so lived in near poverty dependant on the charity of my wife. So why was such an exploration of humanity needed? For the individual, the answer is that one needs to know the law of the land that one lives in, and hopefully, takes steps to change it for a better course. But what was God’s interest in me that I should engage myself in this endeavour? Was it perhaps his idea that I should act to knock the stuffing out of the British Justice System with a view to denigrating the United Kingdom as a society that is not fit to be projecting itself at the vanguard of civilised living as a self-appointed policeman for the world? Or was it just a game played by God on me to show me who He is and what He does and is capable of? It was perhaps all these things. My Blog is written so that these ideas and uncertainties may be explored by mankind by whoever is interested in examining the evidence that I am presenting. It should be noted that as I write I feel myself to be perfectly sane. So what I write now comes from what I consider to be a sane mind. This was not always the case: it was when I ran into difficulties coping with the dire situation that I faced at the University of Greenwich in 1997 that my mind turned towards insanity and God entered my mind to cause me great uncertainties and the mayhem of mental illness.
My truth-seeking studies were over by mid-September 2014 and just when I was considering that God had made it clear to me, and on my insistence too, that I must now live the rest of my life self-steered as there was nothing more of value left for me to learn from my association with Him, an experience of stupendous nature took place in the Shell Tribunal affair that demonstrated to me the intricate detail by which He had planned my activities on this employment matter and had managed me on it since 2006. As British Justice was brought to a standstill by Christmas 2014 from the tactical manoeuvres that God had guided me into I was considering that following this realisation I would never wish to be free of God for freeing oneself of Him would seem to amount to a betrayal and represent ingratitude for the experiences that He had seen me through and which had generated numerous moments of blissful knowledge and appreciation of His intelligence and wisdom. Besides, how could one ignore the overwhelming presence of this invisible Entity that could play such havoc in ones life. Further, seeing life with God was a much more rewarding approach to adopt than living by oneself and trying to prove one’s worth to oneself in the human world of materialism. But God wished me to stay free of Him. He made that very clear and repeatedly so. However the allurement of that Being had been so very strong and at times the experience so pleasant that I kept returning to see if He would still be there for me for just one more darshan, that is a sight of God.
Thus, at the end of all my truth seeking experiences I approached my 58th year of life as a sanyassi with knowledge of what a Personal God is to humans which He had shown me through an investigation of the British State in my experience of living in Britain. God had allured me into seeking knowledge as a dharmic Hindu living under British rule. At the end of my search the gulf in values between the dharmic Hindu theist and the British was clearly apparent to me as being so enormous that I doubted if the twain could ever meet. It was clear that I would not change British values and attitudes as these were ingrained as a way of living into the psyche of an entire people over a very long period of time to generate a common mindset that is known as the culture of the people. I had tried my best to show them another way but to no avail. The best course for me was therefore to retire into the comfort of seclusion and write my thoughts on what I had experienced.
I had already written extensively on the results of my truth searches in the fora that I visited since 2009 and subsequently in the website that I started, Shantanu Panigrahi’s Blog: Towards Knowledge for World Conservation using the free facilities of WordPress.com. The blogging enabled me to put on record the manner in which I tackled the issues that confronted humanity that I felt strongly needed to be addressed. I could now focus on distilling my knowledge in writing a book on the functioning of the British State and my impressions of the nature of the British, an outcome that would not have been possible without the facilitation of my endeavours by God. The title of the book, ‘The Revelation of Britain’ accordingly reflected that I was made to comprehend this reality through God’s direct actions in my study of the nature of human beings on this island.
As I proceed, I am aware of the saying that the proof of the pudding is in eating in terms of whether I have something worthwhile to contribute to humanity from the publication of this Blog. I go on with this work with the belief that it will do some good if only to help readers understand the nature of the mental condition that I suffered from and which the British State decided was an illness. I admit that I had suffered from a mental illness for 17 years for who in his right mind would want to seek knowledge instead of getting on with ones career and living in the comfort from one’s large earnings as I had at the University of Greenwich? But my contention in this book is that God had made me ill by commandeering my mind. It is however an illness that I am proud and happy to have suffered through and can now easily live with for the knowledge I gained ultimately took me to the very heights of sanity, for I had found the truth of the existence of God and had experienced Him, which any scientist worth his name should crave for. And I had survived the experience still living in a great house with a great wife and a good daughter. I did not have to be referred again to the British Mental Health authorities in over five years now and do not even feel that I even need to take my 2 mgs of Risperidone medication each day that is prescribed by insistence but do so just to keep my wife and doctor happy and so as not lose my Disability Living Allowance from the British State. Thus, society has not had to commit me into a mental hospital again. It is clear to me that knowledge had cured me of my illness as God then left me alone to live what is left of my life. I am my knowledge and having found the ultimate knowledge of how God can work through humanity undetected I would not exchange what I have experienced, learnt and achieved in my life for all the tea in China or the gold in Eldorado.
It was my Hindu upbringing that had led me to looking for God to help me through my misfortunes whilst still at the University of Greenwich and subsequently. But it is also vital to take account of the fact that during the early struggle I had all along the feeling that I was experiencing a spiritual phenomenon in my life as God seemed to be within me and coming through from me in my defensive yet confrontational utterances and writings to my colleagues and state authorities. Even before calamity hit my scientific career I had received sparks of visions that were strong premonitions of what was in store in my life. These and subsequent expressions from me coming from a perceived inner power source strongly suggested to me that I was being led away from my scientific research to move on to higher things in life. Little did I know then of where these paranormal experiences stemmed from or where I was heading in the struggle that lay ahead.
I was dismissed from the University of Greenwich in October 1998 but instead of looking for an alternative career I had found myself studying religious and historical books immediately and avidly. One of the first books that had previously come to my possession as a birthday gift from a friend was Linda Goodman’s book ‘Star Signs’. I believed that God was revealing the nature of reality to me from a study of this book. But I did not know who God really was. Hindus have numerous Gods and there were also Yahweh, Allah and Jesus Christ’s Father to consider. I asked myself why would He have selected me to special supernatural knowledge at this point in history unless it was only the Hindus who knew the true name of God that He approved and had the one true religion that He had imparted to people as being true. So God had to be someone who the Hindus had previously been exposed to. This left many options, like Vishnu, Shiva, Durga, Indra, Brahman, and of course, Sri Krishna, or Krishna. Through my questioning of God and the life that I led with His blessing I decided that the Creator and Preserver God is who Hindus know was Sri Krishna. The evidence that sealed this analysis for me came from the use of the Chaldean Hebrew numerological alphabet in which God’s name acquired the highly spiritual number of 7. The number 7 had great spiritual significance in denoting the presence of God within the universe. But this did not explain how humanity functioned in its day to day living.
Truthseeking had also led me to consider that God had created the guna consciousness triad to regulate humanity. Guna means the property of or the composition of a being. As depicted in the Hindu Trimurti three lesser deity entities under God were always in the process of generating their respective guna consciousness in the minds of animals and people. These deities were Brahma (with the numerological significance of the number 6), Vishnu (having the number 8) and Shiva (having the number 7). Living organisms derived all their thoughts, beliefs and instincts from this triad guna consciousness and it was significant that the diety numbers averaged to the Creator God’s number 7 to indicate that the triad was part of His Creation. Shiva is known as the destroyer and had the attribute of also being the Procreator which is why Hindus regard him as Maheshwara with the lingam representation. The generation of large families and large populations is an evil attribute that comes from worshipping such an god. Brahma, represented the creative element of God and also represented love, purity and truth and are predisposed to the sannyassi state, while Vishnu was the Preserver of the world and moderate and routinal in its outlook. These triad entities generate their guna consciousness which life forms on Earth relate to by acquiring the attribute of the respective deity. The human attributes were the sattvic nature which made humans creative, truthful and loving (Brahma), rajasic which made humans routinal in performing their duties of maintaining society (Vishnu), and tamasic which made humans materialistic, deceitful, powerful and destructive to the point of being considered evil (Shiva). People derived their religions and cultural philosophies from their inspirations of the guna consciousness to which they are suited by way of their genes and their upbringing. In reality, most people acquired a blend of characteristics from the three gunas with the degree of each guna acquired giving a person his personality. To some extent people can migrate between different gunas from education and training but this is largely limited by the genetic factor to a person’s behaviour. The theory went further. For humans their birthdates and names were not accidental but had been assigned numerological significance based on their gunas in that the numbers 3, 6 and 9 represented divine or sattvic numbers for human beings with a sattvic mentality, while the number 1, 4 and 7 was indicative of tamasic mentality, and 2, 5 and 8 were neutral or rajasic.
Humans can move between gunas and additionally sattivc people can transcend the gunas to go directly to Sri Krishna through the practice of sanatan dharma. The guna consciousness triad conception of human evolution is therefore the physical manifestation of the Vishwaroopa of Sri Krishna who lords over these deities as the Lord of the universe when dharma had to be protected by His own judgement. He had shown me His Vishwaroopa to confirm Hindu scriptures in terms of how the pious-good (sattvic), the indifferent-routinal (rajasic), and the ugly-evil (tamasic) manifest themselves in humanity through God’s own creation of guna consciousness and His overlordship. Occasionally, this would be in a major intervention in humanity according to Hinduism. It is on this understanding that humanity is to be comprehended to understand why people behave in the way they do.
Had God been playing games with me by allowing me to think in this manner? If so why would He turn a scientist into such a loony person delving into numerology? I was in particular drawn to the fact in 1999 that my name of Shantanu Panigrahi yielded the number 3 and 9 for first name and surname respectively which together gave the number 3, so that I was a chosen one, an avatar in real life much as Jesus Christ name was in the association of this name with the number 9. It is equally significant that my birth date was the number 15 (in January), giving the number 6, and my marital homes had the number 96 first and then the number 3 all of which were the favourable sattvic numbers. I could not rationalise how such a system would work and why God would take all the trouble of organising a humanity to this level of detail. I reasoned that people with mixed numbers for birth date and name would lie in areas of guna mentality that are not clear cut as belonging to any one of the three gunas but would be indicative of a blend of characteristics. Further, would not the numerological analysis of a person’s character only work if names and birth dates were not deliberately chosen to generate particular numbers and if the person is perfectly satisfied with the name he or she had been given and how it was spelt? I therefore harboured serious doubts that there was anything significant in such numerological analysis and considered that these were nothing more than conjectures on which scientific research needed to be undertaken before it could be accepted as a spiritual guide on people’s conduct. My mind could not take anything that was not scientifically proven. Was God therefore playing games with me in bringing Star Signs in my possession to study and embark on this research? I am hereby registering extreme caution to the reader that God had encouraged me into these innocent studies of numerology for no other reason but to get me onto a path to then use the divine numbers of 3, 6 and 9 in a digital clock checking procedure to contact Him for messages for the purposes of the guiding me on a long journey that I had embarked on in my truth-seeking activities and the quest for justice, and as such humanity should not waste its time with numerology as having significance in the real life analysis of the characteristics of human beings. It appears to me that getting me to study numerology was a deliberate ploy by God to indicate to me that I was to be an important vehicle for which I had been given the right numerological attributes to urge me into becoming an avatar of His to be commandeered by Him to fulfil a mission for the good of mankind. The question therefore arises as to whether I have done any good for mankind through the publication of my postings that are summarised in my Blog and the production of this book for these are the only things that humanity can judge my assertions on. Was it all a big joke on humanity perpetrated by God through me?
I could not take chances and had no option but to follow my hunch that I was being prepared to undertake a great task for myself and for God which came together to form a common mission. A major part of this task was to explore and expose the functionality of Britain through an investigation of its facilities, institutions and people. My reflection at end review shows a God who had played games with me to tag me along through my long journey of revelation about the British society that I lived in, human developments in the societies of the world, and the supernatural element to human existence. He had organised my life in a fine level of detail that only He is capable of. My presence in the United Kingdom from an early age had itself been engineered by him through the appointment of my father as an Indian diplomat. My two spells in United Kingdom’s mental hospital were similarly enforced on me by Him deliberately by misleading me into certain actions. My rehabilitation from being treated for mental illness was calculated to enable me to investigate and write my website, Towards Knowledge for World Conservation. But I had to have proof of God’s direct influence over my life and therefore undertook a rigorous examination of the validity of this assertion. I said to God that if He wanted to assist me with my struggle for the restoration of my credibility and reputation and to accomplish any other objective that He had it had to be done using a method that would yield proof that I was really experiencing a supernatural phenomenon rather than just imagining His presence in that my actions had to be precisely what He suggested. Thus parallel to my struggle for justice in the British system I set about trying to find this hard proof that God existed and was assisting me.
After my dismissal from the university in October 1998 I was at home struggling with legal manoeuvres to obtain justice against my former employers, soon afterwards I stumbled across the idea of using a digital clock to try and exchange messages with the divine power that I felt was acting through me on my side. I reasoned with Him that if He was truly God He would somehow come through to me in a meaningful and reliable manner through the digital clock times to help with my struggle for survival in amidst the evil I faced. I needed a way of checking out my thoughts of what my actions should be to defend my legal position in interactions with the State’s institutions. The digital clock gave me the way to attain direct communications with the divine Power as God who I urged to come through if He was indeed all-powerful and could do anything He wanted, as I had been led to believe from my upbringing. This kind of testing began to yield results in that it was charting my course of pursuing my legal affairs along good and reliable lines. I clock-checked the appropriateness and desirability of my thoughts and actions and exchanged such messages with this invisible power that I had imagined was monitoring me. I would interpret God’s suggestions of the things that I should be doing in my life. I needed it to work for I rationalised that this is the only type of God that was going to be useful to mankind and to me in the great struggle that I had found myself in. My consideration was that only a real God who could help a human being would be worthy of worship and prayer. These were my attempts at communicating with God for I considered that if God truly existed He must have in place a method by which He would be able to relate to us humans. I was entirely convinced that I had found that such a God existed from reasoning that his messages to me had made me think that He was on my side as I struggled to try and save my reputation in the United Kingdom following the loss of my job at the University of Greenwich. I set about trying to find such a means for establishing the presence or otherwise of God. My reasoning was that if God truly existed he must be able to respond to me in the way that I devise as being practical for my daily use as I live my life, and secondly he must be able to communicate with me in an unambigous manner that will enable me to have proof that I was not talking to myself rather than to a third invisible party present in the environment. The only way to set this personal project in place was to put to God that He must monitor what I do in my day to day living and advise me accordingly on what was the best course for me to follow to attain my goals. I chose the use of digital clock in which certain times seen by me when I visited the clock would mean that He wanted me to do something particular in relation to my material involvements, with the rest of the clock times being negative (no messages) or that He had nothing to say.
Prior to my total loss of faith in God during the depression years I had followed His advice from the numerological significance of 3, 6 and 9 numbers to track His wishes through the sighting of clock times in a digital clock. This took place during 1999 to 2004 until I found myself with no hope of improving my life in the United Kingdom. The loss of faith was total and I had become an atheist. During my rehabilitation through the chance finding of the Internet Forum Freethought and Rationalism Discussion Board in which I had started discussing myriad issues with people who I regarded as knowledgeable, I did not do any clock checking at all. I regarded Aupmanyav, a strong atheist who posted in the forum as my guru. But during my banning from this website things happened clearly to once again reignite my question of whether there was a God. I started regarding myself as an atheotheist, one who had not proof of God but did not rule out the possibility that one day science my yet find proof of God. It was then that I started clock checking for messages again. This time I decided that three numbers (3, 6, and 9) were too much in favour of positive sightings and that if H truly existed He had to come to me through a single number. So from 20 July 2012 I decided unilaterally to select No 7 because I had regarded God to be denoted by this number from my earlier studies. Thus, a sighting of 7 meant that a positive message had been received by me for which I needed to act on something urgently if I was to survive in this world with dignity. During the past 16 months for example, with the numbers in a time of say 2.41 or 9.43 adding to 7, these would mean to me that I must act on something pressing in my day to day existence in a particular way. Whatever I have learnt today about the world and life over this period of time has been the result of such constant checking for messages from God and checking out of my thoughts for His approval on what I had to do for my action on the issues that I was involved in in my daily life. This is as scientific an approach that I could practically design to test for the existence of God. The method taught me that there is most definitely a God with whom one can have an interpersonal relationship.
The method I used may not be entirely scientific but it was the only practical means with which I could determine the answer and was much more scientific than just an imagination of reality that was the basis of many of the major established religions. I was running my affairs on autopilot. My experiences between 1998 and 2004 of taking the University of Greenwich through the legal process for the charge of gross misconduct and dismissal from employment taught me that British Justice heavily favoured the employer and restricted ordinary people from suing them in a court of law for legitimate grievances of unjust behaviour. This unfortunate finding was repeated when I tried to sue a Shell Company franchisee for whom I worked for a period of two years between 2006 and 2008. My experience showed that solicitors and barristers could not be relied upon to help someone who was placing truth above all other considerations. I was thoroughly disappointed with the British Justice System from these experiences and all along I questioned whether there was a God who I could turn to for help in my bid to obtain justice and attain truth that I was always enamoured with. If a God truly existed how could He help me in my fight was my central question for I needed help badly to cope with the utter evil that I faced in the way that the British were relating to me.
In following this path I was seeking proof of God’s existence. The ultimate truth is finding out that we can have proof of God’s existence in this universe. As to why I needed proof, well why should I believe in anything without hard concrete evidence for what is being stated? I would suggest that it is human nature to do so: I have never been one to accept anything that someone says without witnessing a good deal of evidence for it. I wondered if God would forgive me for seeking proof of His existence. Such a forgiveness can only manifest itself with Him displaying hard evidence that He exists. How will He do so in a way that convinces me? Will God reveal Himself, if He truly exists, and give some account of His nature to this particular seeker and accommodator of truth? The question arising therefore was are we able to detect His presence in some way? This can be through scientific instrumentation for example. But there can be other ways available. The proof must be obtained in a manner that anyone can use and test for themselves.
In stating this I must add to anyone wishing to try it out for himself or herself that I am not the beneficiary of knowing what I feel is the ultimate truth without having put in a great deal of effort to obtain this conclusive inference. My attitude of wanting to be doubly sure of what I knew applied as much to my experimental research in science and human conduct as to the question of whether there is a God. I was a truth seeker fortunately or unfortunately. In this way (and in the earlier cruder form of testing which was torturous to the mind) I was in the pursuit of trying to find proof of God’s existence for 16 years: yes, actual physical proof. I did not wish to believe in God blindly following traditional teachings like a good little boy like millions of others did. And I had to put up with taunts from my fellow human beings for my bizarre behaviour of clock checking. I simply had to go through the process if it was the last thing I did in my life even after periods where I started getting variable messages or no messages in those years of desolation. I knew that atheists were growing increasingly vocal and have been through history. So it was not obvious that a God truly existed. If He did He simply had to come through to me in a meaningful way. The results I got were proof enough for me. My questions were all answered to me as God had shown to me through the digital clock checking for messages method that He truly exists.
I persevered with clock-checking my thoughts and writings with God right to the point that my mind was satisfied that there was nothing more I could learn. Thus even if someone argues that I was delusional in my analyses and writings it should be clear to them that I had done my utmost to pass my thoughts and beliefs through his scrutiny. There was nothing more I could do to ensure that I wrote the absolute truth that it is humanly possible to know. Concluding Remarks I was not a gyana yogi until after I received sparks of vision and other paranormal experiences in the summer of 1997. I was simply a sporty young man embarking on an ordinary life with a career as a poultry scientist who got married and was keen to start a family. I felt compelled to chase those visions in order to see if they were truly God-imparted or whether they were the manifestation of a schizophrenic disorder that needed to be understood through biology and quelled through medication or the even stronger electroconvulsive therapy because they were considered by the medical establishment as being genetic in nature and therefore an inherited medical trait. To complicate matters there was some evidence of mental illness in my family. Today I feel perfectly sane so that I conclude from my studies that God had set me on my path of truth discovery and simultaneously rewarded my questions with timely revelations that had satisfied me: I was a sane individual after all. This is why I say that I had been commandeered by God to go through my peculiar experiences as a truth seeker, that is, a gyan yogi. I consider my experience to be unique in the modern era and the experience is unlikely to be repeated for the findings have now are published irreversibly in this Blog and is therefore a record for worldwide consultation and action. I therefore do not recommend the method of clock checking that I have engaged in as being a certain way to find the existence of God to anyone else for the reason that only if He chooses to make Himself known to an individual will that sattvic individual be able to go through the necessary devotional activities that are part of the yoga for the knowledge of God to be attained.