My suffering has been over from the moment I announced on 9 December that I have became an atheist, quite simply because I no longer pine/worry/hope/expect/be-on-the-lookout for the appearance of this supposed Almighty skydaddy within my life and therefore know that I have another outlook which is to look after my own self by finding my real self rather than to being on or consider moving towards the mission implicit in the theistic perspective on life. I am therefore free from the suffering brought about my the greatest delusion of all that can afflict a human being, which is appropriately-termed the God delusion by Dawkins but without the necessary personal studies that lead to that conclusion. I have acquired personal evidence for his great words, ‘The God Delusion’.
The future is brighter like the sun-avatar I have today inserted in Talk Rational and Rational Skepticism. In considering an atheistic future one needs to recognise that there is no heaven nor hell: only what one creates for oneself in one’s own life here and now. There is nothing beyond this present life of ours that one should concern oneself with except to save some money for one’s retirement and for a rainy day. Once we are dead, it is all over.
I had relapsed into theism thrice over the past 6 years when certain things seemed to come together in my life as if preordained but these incidents that made me wonder again about a possible supernatural influence in bringing them about were not durable or corroborated or consistent so that after subjecting myself to another intense 4 months of detailed search I went atheistic again. I think from personal experience one can only go from atheism to theism via agnosticism/atheotheism (it cannot be a sudden jump across): the evidence that has built up within me of arguments (god gaps, coincidences in personal life, and truth consciousness/Consciousness) have already been debunked by my mind so that it seems unlikely that I will enter the middle phase again, so that the theistic position will be that much more unlikely a position in my life.
31 May 2013 Update: On 21 March 2013, I changed my mind and realised that there is a Personal God. This was realised through a combination of rationalising events that took place in my life https://satyaadvaita.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/dr-shantanu-panigrahi-has-swung-back-to-a-belief-in-a-personal-god-on-21-march-2013/, renewed deja vu-type experiences and further positive sightings of ’7′ at critical times from my advaita clock checking habit. It has been a roller coaster ride over 15 years of search but I am a theist who today sees no reason to change his mind that God is watching and has made things happen for me.